Big Decisions

     Gearing up for our fun four day weekend! Tomorrow afternoon through Sunday morning, our friends are driving in from Richmond for some much needed time together. So, you can imagine how giddy with excitement I've been this week. :-)  
      Saturday we are having a huge Memorial Day get together with many of our friends...complete with grilling out and the kids running around in our new backyard. Hubby is going by O'Brian's tomorrow to pick up the package we ordered...hotdogs, steaks, and pork chops! YUMMY! 
      Saturday also marks 18 weeks preggers for this Mama. As I count down the days until the littlest Johnston makes its appearance, I am growing more and more nervous. Excited, ohhhh YES, but nervous...that too. I am having a rough time adjusting to the thought of having three babies to take care of. I would consider parenting the most rewarding job, but also one of the hardest. We are also battling with the decision to have my tubes tied. It's not something I ever really wanted to do, but at our last doctor's visit, my OB said that having a fourth c-section would be extremely risky for me and the baby...mainly due to the amount of scar tissue that has built up. I am struggling with the decision because if God wants us to have more children, I feel like I shouldn't interfere by making a decision that would prevent that from happening. But at the same time, I would feel like a horrible mother if anything happened to harm my (potential) fourth child. Knowingly proceeding with getting pregnant a fourth time, and knowing that there is a very high risk involved....I just don't quite know what to do.
       We have discussed that maybe God wants us to adopt eventually, so then having my tubes tied wouldn't seem quite as heart breaking. It's just so much to consider in a very short amount of time. But, with much prayer and a ton of faith, I know that the Lord will guide our family to the right decision. :-)
       It's off of here for now, since Hubby will be home soon. Got to figure out what we're going to do for dinner and then head to the store to pick up a few last minute items for this weekend. God bless each of you!