Diagnosis...

    What an absolutely crazy night we had, lol. Apparently, the full moon sent my kids into super hyper mode, as none of them wanted to go to sleep. Noah was the first out but only after screaming (and I mean top of the lungs belting) for half an hour. Hales kept sneaking out of her room and would yell and cry if we closed it (thus waking up Lucas). Needless to say, it was a fairly difficult night but Hubby and I managed to giggle about it, Praise the Lord!! And the kiddos were all asleep by a little after 11pm so, not TOO bad.
     Last week was rough for me, emotionally. Under the advice of my OB/GYN I tapered off my Zoloft around two and a half months ago. Things went well for the first couple of weeks until about a week before my period. And then, it was like a switch flipped and I was just not myself. Anger like I've never felt before surged through me and I couldn't stop crying. The kids just kept saying "I'm sorry you're sad Mommy" which really broke my heart. I thought it still might have something to do with pregnancy related hormones so I chose not to call my doctor, and it ended up lasting until about the 3rd day of my cycle (so a week total). Everything went pretty well, up until early last week, yet again, about a week before my period. And then the anger, severe mood swings, crying etc. started back up, except way worse than last month. I talked with Caleb and told him I knew something wasn't right. We have fought more in the last couple of months than we ever have in our entire relationship, so that should have been a red flag. It was just so hard to think when all of this was going on with my body. Anyways, after a long chat with Hubby, I decided to set up an appointment with my OB. After a series of tests, I was diagnosed with PMDD. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's a severe form of PMS, basically. If you want to read more about it, here is the link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder
     I was also diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder, which apparently is closely linked to people who suffer from PMDD. Anyways, that's basically that the seasons effect my moods, which I guess I've noticed but always thought was normal. Like, during the winter I always feel really bored and down, but it's because I have cabin fever. With three little ones, it's impossible to go outdoors too often because at such young ages, one of them is bound to get sick. So yeah, last week was a little rough for me.
     Now I'm left with how to deal with this news. At first, I was really upset about having to go back on my meds (I'm back on the Zoloft for now) and just felt guilty, like I was letting my family down. I HATE being dependent on any medication but after a phone call to my best friend, she reassured me that I was doing the right thing. And, after a week of finally feeling stable again, Caleb and I are back to getting along. He has been so supportive and kind throughout all of this. I know it was putting my family through hell and I am so thankful I made the decision to go ahead and speak with my doctor. I have a follow up appointment in July to discuss things further so please be praying that the visit will go well.
     I am so thankful that Sunday we will be leaving for our vacation. After everything that's been going on, not just with me, but other issues, too, I can't wait to lay back on the sand and soak up some sun. Just being able to spend uninterrupted time with my family is awesome...and be on the lookout for a TON of pictures when we get back. :-)  Hope each of you is having a wonderful, blessed Monday.