A Perfect Description of Motherhood

     When talking about having babies very rarely do the "true feelings" of motherhood arise within conversation. Most women desire to talk about how tiny their toes are, the sleepless nights, how good they smell etc. Very few moments occur when someone actually describes the constant ache a mother feels for her children. One of my Facebook friends posted this description of motherhood on her wall (author unknown) but it was exactly what I've felt from the moment I held my baby Noah for the first time. In a single second of the nurse placing him into my arms, I felt a love that made me ache to the core...knowing that I would give up anything to protect him throughout his life. With that first sweet moment of looking into his eyes, came not only uncontrollable happiness, but a slow ache of knowing he would one day grow up...and that I couldn't hold him in my arms forever. Even still, with this constant ache of love, of worry, every second of every day...becoming a Mother is the best thing I have done. I am so thankful God has blessed me with this opportunity. 
     The author makes another great observation...the one where it discusses falling in love with your husband all over again. The first time I saw Caleb hold Noah, I melted on the spot; this man who never cries, with tears of love and joy pouring down his face as he gazed into the eyes of our newborn son; yes, that made me fall in love with this man all over again. The frustrating moment of trying to change a diaper...but he never gave up; I fell in love with him again. The late night feedings when I was too sore from my c-section to get out of the bed, the freaking out over fevers, teaching Noah to walk, days at the park pushing bug in a swing...yes, all of these times made me fall in love with Caleb again and again. I can't know for certain how many times this will happen in our life together, but I do know that it WILL happen again. God has blessed me with an incredible family and I can't thank Him enough for that. Next week (or sooner) when Caleb holds Haleigh for the first time...that is the moment I am most looking forward to; because if there is anything more special than a Mother's love for her child, it's a Daddy's love. :-)  

What it means to be a Mom

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a

survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life." I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations..."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been my child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé - or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going in to an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish hers. I want her to know that a caesarian scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it." I finally say.

Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a ssilent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God...that of being a mother.

Author Unknown