Not to mention that this pregnancy is, by far, the hardest one I've had. It seems that we have had so many bumps along the way this time. First, we were told I would miscarry by my prior OB/GYN and we sought a second opinion. Needless to say, baby had a strong heartbeat and was measuring right on schedule based on ovulation. Then, a couple of months ago, we went for our gender scan and found out that we would be having a little boy...Judah. BUT, yet again, the news wasn't great. I was told there was scar tissue that Judah could become entangled in, preventing blood flow to his little body with the possibility of stunting his growth. That was terrifying to hear, but they scheduled me for another ultrasound four weeks later.
Then, I caught the flu about two weeks after my appointment. I couldn't eat, sleep, or literally move off of the couch for days; like, I'm talking a good 10-11 days. After the flu itself went away, I found out that I had a severe iron deficiency, and was too weak to even get up. I spent the next week laying in bed or on the couch, barely able to walk to the bathroom and back. My Mom and Husband were absolute lifesavers during this entire process and spent their days taking turns taking care of me.
A few days ago, after starting on iron supplements, I felt my energy slowly begin to return. It's still nowhere near where it was and I spend my days frustrated at myself for not being able to do more with the kids. We did get great news at our ultrasound on Friday concerning the scar tissue; Judah's head has compressed all of the tissue that could have been an issue into my uterine wall. This means that he no long can become entangled in it, which is definitely an answer to prayer.
Friday I also had my one hour glucose test, which I failed miserably. So that means next week I have to do the three hour one...and that totally bums me out. I'm trying so hard to have a good attitude about everything but I am really struggling right now. On top of all the physical pregnancy related issues (racing heartbeat, dizziness, a return of morning sickness etc) I am still trying to ensure that the rest of my kiddos have fun filled days. And honestly, most days all I really want to do is lay down and relax with my feet up. Instead, I'm fixing breakfast, lunch and snacks, teaching Noah school, playing with the kids. Tonight, I'm really feeling it...I'm drained. Totally drained. As I listen to their loudness, which normally makes me giggle, tonight it's putting me on edge. I know it's the combination of everything I've dealt with during the last month, but it still makes me feel like an awful Mom. I feel so guilty knowing that I can't keep up with their pace right now. I am so in love with baby Judah and I can't wait for him to arrive, but the waiting game (especially during third trimester) is sooooo rough. I need prayers and lots of them right now. God is so good and I believe He is going to get me through this rough patch of life.
