Wednesday, June 30, 2010

ECLIPSE REVIEW!

     LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!! Is that a good enough of a review, lol?  Personally, I liked it WAY better than Twilight or New Moon...just my opinion. And, although I used to be 100% TEAM EDWARD I have done a complete 360...and now am "hopelessly devoted to Jacob!"  *BIG GRIN*  I mean, persistence is sexy and one thing Jacob has, is PERSISTENCE!  It took me about this long...maybe a little earlier, while reading the books to change from Edward to Jacob fan, and the movies did make it a little easier to make the switch; afterall, lovely Jacob did walk around shirtless for the majority of the film *giggles*  LOVE YOU CALEB!  I'm being a bit dramatic but as I wrote in my last post, I unleashed my inner tween for this film and once it's unleashed it takes a while to suppress!  :-P  Anyways, that was my take...I think "Bella's" acting abilities in this movie were greatly improved over the last two, so that was a nice change. The bedroom scene was a bit intense but I think the director did an accurate job of capturing the scene from the book...still, not something I would probably want my 13 year old watching!  But anyways....that was my take on it...all in all, a 9 out of 10, just because I'm a fanatic! 
     On to other things since I have fallen behind on my actually "writing" blogs....as I tend to have a more comedy/humor blog now. Tomorrow marks the first of July and also the month where I will hopefully get pregnant again with a little brother or sister for Noah Bug. :-)  We will know by the end of the month and as the day approaches, I'm getting more and more nervous...excited nervous of course. Also, Caleb and I might be moving a bit sooner than we expected...we weren't planning on any raises during the first year, but he is advancing a bit more quickly than we had thought so instead of moving in May we might end up moving in October or November...that is still up for discussion at this point. I'm not really in a rush either way, but it would definitely be nice to have a little more room...that's for sure!  Not to mention, I'm not really a huge fan of the street we currently live on...but, not going to complain anymore. It's been a great first home to start a family in!  I will definitely miss it when we move elsewhere!  
     And...random thought to end the post...what I'm most looking forward to about moving is having a backyard for our precious little one(s?) to play in. Right now, I'm too much of a scaredy cat to walk up and down our street just because of some of the weirdos who live on it...bleh!  Annnnnnd...getting a PUPPY for Noah!  That is definitely on our list of priorities for when we move...because every little one needs a puppy to grow up with! :-)  We will need to discuss that more as well, because Caleb is in love with idea of a BIG DOG...like a Rottweiler, and I'm NOT a fan!!! I'm thinking something a bit smaller, maybe along the lines of a Feist or a Pug. Caleb says we need to have a guard dog...and I'm like, "Honey, that's what guns are for!" :-)  Can you tell I was raised in Craig County?  Night everyone!
  
  

ECLIPSE!!!!

I'M GOING TO SEE IT WITH MY MOM TODAY AND I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! I've been looking forward to this for months now...and the day if FINALLY here! Anyways, that was just me unleashing my small little burst of inner child within me....or should I say...inner tween, lol! I can't wait to post my review of the movie later...I just really, really hope I love it!  No WAY it's going to compare to the books, of course, I know that, so I always lower my standards for the movie version! *grin*  Okey dokey, I'm going to get off of here to clean so when my Mother in Law comes over to visit later today she won't think I'm a horrible housekeeper! :-)  Toodles!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Optical Illusions

Reflective Art

It's moving alone!

Mindscrew optical illusion

Amazing Recursive Painting

Creative 3D Sphere Designs

Foiled Car

Shiny Car

Marriage and Mommy Jokes



Kids at the Wedding

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."







A Mother's Dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."







University courses for men and women

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You Too Can Do Housework

3. Resistance to Beer

4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)

6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don't Wash My Silks")

9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook

10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You, The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons To Give Flowers

15. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb

16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please

17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat

18. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies

19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost

20. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency

21. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes

22. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too

23. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous

24. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

25. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver

26. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home

27. Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary

28. You Don't Really Need That Porsche

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue

Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag

2. You Can Change The Oil Too

4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug

5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas

6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness

7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football

8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around

9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop

10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right

11. Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself

12. Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right

13. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility

14. You, The Whining Sex

15. Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours

16. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother

17. How To Close The Garage Door

18. If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation

19. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia

20. Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank

21. Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation

22. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself

23. Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend

24. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous

25. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother

26. You Too Can Carry A Backpack

27. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most

28. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men

29. Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving

30. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste



*Taken from www.ahajokes.com

Cabbage Patch Baby

Is that Me?

Country Hip Hop...HMMMMMM?

VERY TALKATIVE BABY GIRL!


I'd Love to Eat Here

Sea restaurant

Interesting Test Answers

Funny exam answer

FACEBOOK

Face book  - Fun Cool Stuff
http://www.eatliver.com/

Top Twenty Most Bizarre Craigslist Ads

Here are the Top Twenty Most Bizarre Craigslist Ads:

1) Ralph Nader chair

"Yes, that's right. Ralph Nader, perennial Green Party candidate for the U.S. presidency MAY have sat in this very chair! It was used in his Washington, DC campaign headquarters until I purchased it on Craiglist several months ago. It has a nice red, commie upholstery and a sleek black plastic backing. The wheels don't function well, but that is a small price to pay for state control of the means of production."
2) I want some orange juice 
"I'll give you $2 + cost if you'll deliver me some orange juice with receipt. I'm too lazy to get it myself. I live right by University Drive in Elon. Thank you."
3) Seeking adult drunk clown for 30th birthday party
"We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink."
4) Duck mask
"Full head rubber mask, old, has discoloration on white feather part from age, storage. Hey I got it on my big head, so it works that way."
5) Woman to sit in my bath tub full of noodles, wearing a bathing suit
"I will pay you $1 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner."
6) Wanted: Pony
"My kid is having a birthday coming up soon, and there'll be a lot of children around, so I figured I'd better get a pony. If you do have a pony you could sell, please contact me, and then immediately start putting barbeque sauce in it's bedding or add some Lawry's to it's salt lick - I like to marinade it early and long, so that the flavor is at it's peak by the time I take possession."
7) I have a huge bathroom 
"I am a female in my mid 60's and I am looking for a room mate. Times are tight and I need some extra money. I am willing to rent out my bathroom in my 1 bedroom east village home. My bathroom is large. You can easily put a twin air mattress in there. I only ask that when I need to use the bathroom, you or your air mattress are not in it. I do ask that when you are in the apartment, you confine yourself to the bathroom. I do not feel comfortable with a stranger walking around my living room. This might change as I get to know you better."
8) Pope hats
"Because of this terrible economy, I'm having to shut down my business. I have OVER 1300 Pope hats (replicas) that I REALLY need to get rid of. The pope hats came from China and are a little too small for most adult heads and are also irritating to the skin, so you would need to have long hair or wear a smaller hat underneath (just like the REAL POPE). Dogs do not like to wear these pope hats, but maybe a large cat or maybe a nice dog would wear one."
9) Need someone to hide easter eggs in my apartment when im not home
"I need someone to hide easter eggs in my apt when i am not there ! They are small and filled with candy! I would like to find them myself on sunday! I am willing to pay! Serious inquiries only!"
10) Free couch, if you can bend time and/or space 
"I have a free couch for anyone who can get it back out of my room. It's a comfy couch, cool stripe velvet in great shape, impossibly uncomfortable sleeper, but otherwise easily worth $50-75 bucks in Craigslist land. So why am I listing in for free? Because I am pretty sure it is physically impossible to remove this thing from my second story bedroom down the narrow hallway, down the narrower staircase and out the front door of my little Victorian duplex."
11) I took your purse and felt a connection 
"Tuesday night around 11:30. On 53rd btw 1st and 2nd. You came out of the subway and I followed you. You looked over your shoulder, saw me and started walking faster. I ran up, grabbed your arm, took your purse and ran away. I've done many a snatch-and-grab but no one has ever stuck in my mind like you. There was a quick moment when our eyes met that I felt something strong. I think you felt it too. If I wasn't so shy (or so committing a crime) I would have asked your name. I, of course, later got your name from your drivers license. So Jennifer if you'd like to get together for a drink sometime get back to me."
12) Looking for bridesmaids
"So, my fiancee and I are getting married in June. He has 8 groomsmen lined up and I only have one bridesmaid. So, I need some girls who are attractive and around my age to stand up in my wedding. You can be single or taken. It doesn't matter....you just have to be hot. But, not hotter then me. Email me for more information. The wedding will be in Madison and you won't have to pay for a thing."
13) Do you have a small, incontinent dog? 
"Or perhaps you work for a small dog rescue of some sort. Either way, I have a package of small doggy diapers. I don't want to throw them out coz they are pretty expensive. (as someone with a small, incontnent dog would already know). Please don't try to put them on a cat. It won't work. Trust me."
14) My teeth 
"I left my Dentures in your Silverado last night. I gave you my number but did not get yours. Please call me asap. I need my teeth. We met in the parking lot of Margarita Jones. Get back to me asap please. Thank you."
15) Disgruntled American seeks Canadian for political asylum, maybe more 
"Are you a lonely, possibly desperate Canadian woman aged 18-50? Tired of trying to find a good man among your flannel clad, Labatt's drinking, moose hunting country men? Willing to take in an American who is fed up with his country? Then I'm the guy for you! Maybe you're a bit overweight or suffer from "Lifelong Ugly Duckling" syndrome. I don't care."
16) Autographed copy of Plato's Republic
"1st edition of The Republic signed by its author. There is of course a reasonable amount of wear and tear, (light highlighting and underlining, dog-eared pages, back cover missing, etc.), but it is in overall good condition considering its age."
17) Ferocious attack kitten 
"This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it. For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house."
18) Free - international ketchup packet collection
"This is a collection of ketchup packets from around the world. approximately 25 countries are represented here, including japan, finland, estonia, greenland, brazil, and portugal. none of the packets have been opened and they are labeled with their home country. Collection comes in decorative box with ducks on it."
19) Personal texting assistant
"I get 40 - 50 texts an hour, I cant handle my workload plus texting responsibilities. My phone gets too full and needs deleted every couple hours. This is a full time position and you must be where ever I am at, because my phone is always with me. Serious inquiries only."
20) 300 stuffed penguins
"I'm going through a pretty weird time in my life right now--having just gone through a break-up and graduated college and temporarily living in my parents' house before I move out for good in in the fall, though I remain unemployed because my philosophy degree is at *such* a premium--and sifting through my room (which has become a strange amalgam of my adolescence and burgeoning adulthood), it's been brought to my attention that I probably won't "catch a man" or have anyone believe I'm about to turn 23 with 300 penguins and a bunch of purple furniture around, that looking at my current room one might think some sort of 13-year-old with developmental issues is living here."

Puppy Pictures

     I found this website called The Daily Puppy which posts new pictures of dogs each day. It is so adorable...even has suggestions for names to call your pet! :-) You can also adopt/buy puppies here.  Here are some of the photos that I thought were precious.

 Bodie and Ernie the Beagles Pictures

Fergus the Basset Hound Pictures

Wyatt the Labrador Retriever Pictures 608956

Oliver the Chow Mix Pictures 602436

Milo the Border Collie Mix Pictures 602006

Why Do People Have to Involve ME in THEIR Drama?

     *Sighs*  Well, life was going along perfectly, drama free, which should have been a clear sign that something was about to go wrong. I'm not going to go into details only that I am SO sick and tired of people using Facebook to try and cause drama. I will make a post that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM, and yet, they find it perfectly socially acceptable, to say something RUDE where everyone can read it. Which is fine...if they get pleasure out of trying to run other people's lives and make them feel bad, that's ok...I just wish they didn't include me in it. But whatever, that was my small little rant of the day, and now I am fine, lol! :-)  I am just so truly blessed and even during these "AHHHHHHH" moments, I just keep reminding myself that I can't fix the world's problems. 
     But anyways, moving on to something more positive and upbeat, I only have two weeks left until me and Caleb's two year anniversary. We were married on July 12, 2008! :-)  I am so excited to be going away for a few days...and yes, I am going to miss Noah like CA-RAZY, lol, but he will enjoy spending the time with his Nana and Papa, I'm sure. And Caleb and I definitely need this break to get away together!  He keeps trying to convince me to ride roller coasters with him, and I was all gung-ho about it for a while, but the closer it gets to our trip, the butterflies in my tummy are increasing by the day. Now, I'm not so sure if I  have the nerve to ride one, lol...I've only ridden three my entire life and to be perfectly honest there were 7 and 8 year olds getting off of them grinning from ear to ear....so, baby coasters pretty much. Caleb wants me to ride The Griffin, which I was PETRIFIED just watching HIM RIDE IT the last time we went....soooooo, this should definitely be interesting to say the least! :-) 

Ciao, Au Revoir, Bye, See ya Later, Buona Sera, Shalom, Goodbye

Monday, June 28, 2010

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger
parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3 They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk
on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid
of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who 
did
it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.


THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the
item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been,
it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and
asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on
the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was
evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you
have to be the daddy"
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my
heart.

Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous
look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."
He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient
little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and
asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is
butt dust?"
Church was pretty much over at that point...



**I AM VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO NOAH TALKING AND THE CUTE THINGS HE WILL SAY! :-)**

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Short and Sweet

My Dearest Caleb,
    I'm so glad you had a great time on your camping trip, but SO super thankful you'll be back in bed cuddled up with me tonight, lol. Last night was lonely without you. :-)  Thanks for being my everything and working so hard to support me and our wonderful little boy. I can't wait to have another one with you when the Lord chooses to bless us!  Hope your day at work goes WONDERFUL tomorrow! I can't believe we celebrate our 2 year anniversary in only 2 weeks!  I LOVE YOU!
XOXOXO
Mrs.Johnston

Epic Football Band Failure...But the Player Kept Going

I Don't Even GET Football...and THIS WAS INCREDIBLE!

Most Insane Football Play In History

Watch Video Here

This Should SO Not Be Funny...But TOTALLY Is...


Bad Ostrich Attacks Kid

Watch Video Here

Conspiracy? I think NOT!


Finally REAL Proof That Bigfoot Exists

Watch Video Here

Noah and His Dad a Few Years From Now