It's a.......

     Sorry I'm late getting around to this post. I'm sure most of you expect that from me these days, lol. Three kids and another on the way...there's just always stuff to do. :-)  Just wanted to let everyone know that when we went for our ultrasound last Thursday we found out we are definitely having a BOY!! His name will be William Judah, but we have decided to call him Jude for short. I can't begin to tell you how thankful we are to God above for another beautiful miracle.

Depression

     Looks like these lovely hormones of mine are working overtime. I've already started struggling with feelings of depression. I know this is the "norm" for me during pregnancy but I was really hoping it wouldn't effect me this time around. I'm so thankful for the antidepressants my doctor has me on, as they are at least making daily life bearable, but I hate feeling this way. It's a mixture of boredom and the inability to control my emotions. Not to mention I'm completely exhausted and just feel "down". I'm almost to the halfway point (I'm 19 weeks, 1 day) and I'm also having my c-section at 39 weeks. So, for that I'm thankful. I can't wait to have this sweet baby here in my arms and out of my belly. :-)  And I'm looking forward to our appointment tomorrow morning and keeping my fingers crossed that little one keeps their legs UNCROSSED, lol. I hope everyone is having an awesome day and I will try to update at some point tomorrow if we are able to find out boy or girl.

TWO DAYS

...until we go for our gender scan. Originally we were supposed to go today but the ultrasound tech ended up having to reschedule for Thursday, which is fine. I honestly think I'd be okay if we couldn't find out but part of me wants to be prepared. We didn't really plan on having any more babies so we pretty much got rid of everything infant related. We have been blessed with some amazing yardsale finds recently so we are slowly accumulating some of those much needed items. And a friend of mine gave us the baby swing we are going to use for FREE. :-)
     I'm currently typing away on my new Chrome Cloud (laptop). My awesome Husband gave it to me for our anniversary and I'm pretty ecstatic. It's so nice to not have to run downstairs every time I need to hop on the computer. Oh, and speaking of our anniversary, we will have been married for six years this Saturday...and officially a couple for 12 years. Looking at that I'm like WHOA! Who knew that so many years could fly by and it feel like only yesterday I was being introduced to my spouse for the first time.
     Next weekend we are actually going out of town for a night to celebrate. I am so looking forward to a night away from home where I can just be Raquel (and not Mommy) for a few hours. It is much needed and I can't wait.
     Hope everyone is having a great start to their week. Tuesdays are such a blah day for me and today is proving to be the same. :-)

Kindergarten...here we come!!

     We are OFFICIALLY homeschoolers!!! Just put in our very first order for a curriculum. We have chosen Heart of Dakota Little Hearts for His Glory to use for Noah's year of Kindergarten. I don't know who is more excited...Mommy or Noah Bug. :-)
     I must admit I'm pretty nervous to start this journey but I know that with God at the helm, we are going to do great. Please be praying for our family as we have discovered, it takes a village to raise a child...and we're going to have four soon, lol.

Typing Away...

     My littlest one is sick today. :-(  Last night he felt really hot so I took his temperature and, sure enough, 101.0. He slept really well (like 2 hours longer than usual) and seemed to be doing ok when he woke up. As the day passed, though, his fever came back and he fought nap time like crazy, which is totally unlike him. So, instead of laying him in his crib, I rocked him and sang to him and laid him down on his brother's bed, where he dozed off to sleep. I'm praying that maybe this will be a good segway into him being willing to sleep in a big boy bed...because he is going to have to give his crib up in a few months when Arabella/Jude arrive. :-)
     In other news, I get to go to the beach in October. It was a total surprise but Hubby's work is sending him to Hampton/Virginia Beach area for a mandatory conference and family is allowed to tag along. I've decided to just take Noah along because I know there is no way I can manage all three little ones by myself. I'm just so stinkin' excited because the entire trip will be paid for!! And then of course, that's like the last real relaxing moment before life starts to get really crazy again...holidays, welcoming a new baby, buying Christmas gifts etc.
     I also received more wonderful news from two dear people in my life but will wait to post about that another time. All I will say is that we serve an amazing God. :-)  Blessings, sweet friends.

God Answers Prayers

     It's hard to believe so much time has passed since I blogged. First off, I just want to say that God has worked so many miracles in our family over the past few months. I wake up daily counting many blessings and praise God for His love for us. :-)
     Our sweet baby on the way is now 17 weeks, 2 days old. I've felt little one begin to move daily and it's such a joy to feel life stirring within me again. We go for our gender scan July 8th and are crossing our fingers baby will cooperate so we know if we are having a boy or a girl. I'm definitely leaning towards a little princess because of the horrible mood swings and depression that has already started up. Praise the Lord names have also been decided....Arabella Fayth or William Judah (Jude for short). And we have chosen to spell the FAITH untraditionally, with a Y because hubby's mom's middle name is Fay. :-)
     We are heading towards the beach in October for a business convention my husband's work is sending him to. Currently I'm considering just taking our oldest, Noah, because I will be almost 8 months pregnant and nowhere near capable of keeping up with three at once. Please be praying that God will provide family or friends to watch Bear and Bop for us and that I will be able to leave them without getting overly upset. I hate it when our family is apart but want to make the best decision for everyone.
     I hope each of you is doing well and it was nice dropping in to my blog again. Sometimes writing is what I need to lift my spirits and erase certain worries. Have a blessed day.

Here is an updated photo of our babies:

Big News

     I said I would announce something exciting going on in our home...we found out we are expecting baby number 4. We have had a few issues which are worrying us but we are trying our hardest to stay positive. I woke up Wednesday morning with a little bit of light spotting so went ahead and called my OBGYN's office to set up an appointment. They saw me right away for an ultrasound but said I was measuring two weeks behind...by my last period the baby should have been around 7 weeks, 4 days. I tried explaining to both the ultrasound tech and my doctor that I was late ovulating and couldn't have conceived until March 6th. They both pretty much brushed me off like I had no clue what I was talking about.
     The conversation that followed was probably one of the most heartbreaking ones I've experienced. I sat down in front of my doctor who proceeded to tell me that "you will miscarry sometime over the next week; probably before your next appointment". As you can imagine, I was devastated. I tried getting her to explain her reasoning and all she kept saying was that it was because by when my last menstrual period was, my gestational sac/baby/yolk should be measuring further along than 5 weeks. :-(
     After talking it over with my awesome husband, we decided to set up an appointment with another doctor at a different practice. That visit is coming up on Tuesday and we are praying with our whole hearts that we see our precious little one and a strong heartbeat...I can't imagine the feelings I will experience if they confirm that I have/will be miscarrying this baby.
     It's amazing that a child that I have never met, never heard, and not even felt move, I could have already fallen so in love with. Regardless of the outcome, God is with us through this. I had a friend send me the verse Jeremiah 29:11; " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Wow!! Talk about the promises of God!! :-)
     As we enter this week facing the unknown, please be in prayer for us and this precious life God has blessed us with. Hope each of you have a wonderful week and I will try my hardest to update once I find something out on Tuesday. It really just depends on the outcome, I guess. God bless!!

Excitement!!!

     There is definitely some exciting news in the Johnston house!! :-)  I will be making the announcement this weekend so please check back in Saturday or Sunday. It's amazing the way the Lord works.  This week has been filled with hurt for friends going through rough times and joy at amazing circumstances.
     Currently I've been trying to get back into the routine of homeschooling the kiddos. Noah is starting to learn to read and I'm seriously shocked every time he picks up a new word. I can't believe that he just turned four but yet can read as well as any Kindergarten. I was so excited to find a new book "Homeschool Your Child for Free" by Gold and Zielinski. It is seriously filled with over a thousand links/sources to websites totally devoted to teaching children from K-12th grade. What I love most about the book is that it's broken down by subject so it's super easy to reference depending on what we are wanting to study.
     Hope each of you is having a great day!! Be back soon to share our good news!

St. Patrick's Day

     Sitting here listening to Bug and Bop chit chat with one another. Seriously...they sound like little adults lol. :-)  When did they get so dang smart?
     So, tomorrow is my birthday and I'm going to be 27. Do I feel older? No. Should I? Probably, lol. So many people around me complain that their kids make them feel old but am I weird for experiencing the complete opposite?  They seriously make me feel young at heart, mind and soul. Praise God for that!
     Since today is St. Patrick's Day I've been thinking about what I can add to my blog to "green it up". :-)  I think I'm going to post some Irish quotes and sayings because they make me smile. So, here goes...

      

     

Blessings

     I realized something today; I REALLY need to get back into my writing. It is such a great way for me to relieve stress and at this point in my life, I need all that I can get. I love my children more than I can put into words, but recently their attitudes are larger than life. My daughter is two going on twelve, completely diva, my oldest thinks he knows everything there is to know about the world, and Lucabear is learning that saying "no" gets attention. :-)  I've been trying to decide if I would like to re enter the workforce and I"m truly at a crossroads; so many days I feel isolated from adult conversation and sometimes get jealous of my husband. I feel like he is moving up the ladder of success and I'm stuck in this circle of diaper changes, tantrums, sibling rivalry and playdate politics (yes, such a thing does exist). I'm tired and stressed and am probably experiencing burnout.
     But then, there are other days when my kids are so amazing; there is so much laughter. Everyday they look at me and tell me they love me, with a sparkle in their eyes that is unbelievable. They grab my hand with their sticky, chubby fingers and I fall in love all over again. :-)  It's in these moments that I realize that I am beyond blessed. God has given me the opportunity to spend my days at home with them, raising them into young men and women; I can honestly say there is no job more hard or more rewarding than that of a mother, and in my case, a stay at home Mom.
     Please pray for me as I struggle to make this decision. Make it what God wants for our family, and not what my selfish self wants. Since it's been so long since I've written, I think I'll add a few new photos for my blogger friends. Hope every single one of you is having a wonderful day!! God bless!!