Missing a Friend

     Do you ever have one of those days where you just want to call up a really good friend but then you remember that you really aren't that close to them anymore?  It's moments like this that are harder on me than anything. I had this happen to me just today. I was having a wonderful day with my husband and brother, laughing and joking and whatnot, and thought "Hey, I'll just give --- a call (not naming names here)...because I remember how many great times we have had together...silly little inside jokes that no one will ever get except for us, lol. And that we went through something magical together; our pregnancies. Then, it hits me and I feel completely naseous. (We're NOT that close anymore for circumstances I had NO control over...and knowing I would give anything to change what happened... BUT I CAN'T!!!! This breaks my heart and I struggle with the hurt so much. Hurting for her, and me...both for different reasons.) Sorry, Raquel, but not today...I try to call up another friend but it's not quite the same. Not really awkward but I just keep thinking that if I was chatting it up with -- then I wouldn't feel so down. That this girl could really cheer me up...she is SO great at that. For reasons I can't control...we grew apart. And now, I spend more time than people know still trying to figure out a way to clear the air and avoid the awkardness that I know is going to come with our conversations. I've talked to my hubby, and my Mom who are both amazing and have given me great advice. Most importantly, I have spent countless hours in prayer to my amazing Savior...and the only answer I have so far received..."BE PATIENT"  And THAT is SO hard to do.  But still, I will obey my Lord and in this, I know He will do great things in this situation. He will answer prayers, provide me with the right things to say at the perfect moments...and then, maybe one day, not too far in the future, I will be able to think "Hey, I will just give -- a call!"  And I'll dial the number and on the other end I'll hear that beautiful voice that belongs to my friend. YES, forever and always my BFF.
     Heading to bed...it's been a weird day for me!