Tears...I Just Can't Hold Them in Anymore

     The past two days have been stress beyond belief...and I REFUSED to cry about any of it, until today! My stepfather, Luke, who I have considered another Father for the past 15 years, started having severe chest pains about three days ago. He, being his usual stubborn self, refused to go to the hospital until my mother forced him to yesterday evening...and it's a good thing she did. After five EKGs, an angioplasty, and various other tests etc., they discovered he had a 90% blockage...he is only 40 but has a family history of heart disease. I have been strong for my Mom this week holding it all inside, but today I just broke down...I can't hold it in anymore...I can't be brave anymore...I'm scared....REALLY scared. I don't know what I would do if something happened to him. And to see him laying there in that hospital bed like that...I don't know how I managed to hold in the tears while I was there, but I did...but I lost it while we were walking to the car. I've visited Mom at the hospital a couple of times over the past couple of days, but tonight was the first time I'd seen Luke....and I'm just tired and upset and worried. They put a stent in and he seems to be doing better now, but I'm most worried about when he goes home!  He smokes, and isn't very willing to quit...and they tell him HE MUST, or he will be back in there within a matter of months, so yeah...I'm pretty down today. Not to mention, Noah has been fussy, probably because he is picking up on Mommy being upset and I just really, really need a break....from everything. I will end here now, because I want my blog to be one where humor and happiness resides and this is putting a damper on things...my apologies! I just needed to get this out and I appreciate you listening. Please pray for quick healing and a willingness to give up smoking...that the Lord will do a miracle and maybe he just will be able to give it up cold turkey!  Thanks so much! Have a blessed weekend!