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     Well, it's been quite a day. For the past several nights, every time I lay down to go to sleep I feel like I can't breathe right. The best way to describe it is that my heart beats really fast and hard; so much so that I can feel the pounding in my neck. Then, my chest starts to get really tight and then I get dizzy. Most nights, I've been doing my breathing exercises from yoga and it calms me down enough that I can sleep. Well, last night that didn't work and my chest was so tight I couldn't take in a deep breath. Made an appointment with the doctor this morning and went in for that around 11. He listened to my heart and did an EKG, which, Praise the Lord, came back normal. Since I have a history of Thyroid ism in my family he ordered bloodwork for that and I should have the results back on Friday. He said his best guess was that I have an anxiety disorder. I told him that I don't have any triggers that should cause that, but he informed me that there doesn't have to be one. He seems to think that even though I may not realize it, I am putting my body through a lot of stress. He says I go and go all day, keeping up with the children, our home, trying to keep schedules straight etc, etc, so the only time I really have to sit down and relax (my mind included) is at night when I am trying to fall asleep. He said there was a good possibility that I have so much on my mind that I'm physically unable to fall asleep, which is a major cause of stress....which can lead to panic attacks. Learn something new every day! So, he prescribed Xanax which I'm really not too excited about taking, as I hate to be reliant on any medicaiton. But, if this is going to make me a better Mom and wife, then I will deal with it.  I just feel so guilty about this, and I'm not quite sure why. I guess I feel like I should be able to be "supermom" all the time, and when I get sick, I beat myself up over it. I think in my mind I rationalize that I don't have time to get sick, but I don't know. Hopefully I will have the answer soon...if this anti anxiety medicine works, then that will be great. Thanks for all the sweet words of encouragement and prayers. God bless you all. :-)